


How Far Such Dreams Can Go

by homoeroticmisogyny



Category: Homoerotic Misogyny (TV)
Genre: Audrey POV, Crime and Punishment Fusion, Multi, Svidrigaïlov is a creep because he's Svidrigaïlov, Tal POV, because come on people never give her any time in their fics smh, her tag is so clogged w/ slutrio stuff its ridiculous, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 09:20:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30053268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homoeroticmisogyny/pseuds/homoeroticmisogyny
Summary: Arkady Ivanovich Svidrigaïlov joins the faculty at Atrox Academy as the teacher for Audrey and Tal’s Economics class. The two girls detest him for a number of reasons (most pertaining to his seeming inability to shut up about his own opinions) but after hearing Svidrigaïlov share some… interesting anecdotes in class, they start to suspect that something more sinister lurks behind Svidrigaïlov’s polished exterior. It’s not long before the two young women hatch a plan to get rid of the pompous professor once and for all—with the help of their fellow Homoerotic Misogynists, obviously.
Relationships: Audrey Riverdale-Kuragin & Tal Avdotya Josef, Tal Avdotya Josef & Elena Kuragina (Homoerotic Misogyny)
Kudos: 3





	How Far Such Dreams Can Go

Falafel day in the dining hall was probably the closest that Tal would ever come to participating in bloodsport. It didn’t help that she had to sprint from Mr. BG’s classroom on the third floor all the way down to the dining hall on the ground level just to make it there before they ran out of hummus. By the time she slid into her chair at the unofficial HM lunch table, she was already sporting a cut on her cheek from an altercation with another student in the buffet line. Hey, it wasn’t her fault that they tried to jump the queue. 

“Jesus, Tal, did one of your arguments with the librarian finally turn physical?” 

She looked up to see Issa and the rest of the Slutrio sitting on the other side of the table, completely unscathed. _Of course they’d always look perfect_ , she thought to herself. 

“No, some little first-year fucker was trying to cut in line, so I grabbed their arm to pull them back and they backhanded me with their binder.”

Issa and Audrey laughed as Tal leveled a glare in their direction. _They’re lucky they’re funny_ . 

“Hey, not all of us can afford to skip class so they can bypass the lines. Some of us actually need to keep our grades up.”

Before Audrey or Issa could respond, Elena had stood up and leaned over the table, her face a mere six inches away from Tal’s as she scrutinized her wound. “I kind of like it, actually. The cut. It’s… kinda sexy.”

Tal snorted. “Thanks, Elena. I knew I could count on you to make things unnecessarily horny.” 

Elena smirked and sat back in her chair. “We’ve been roommates for over a year, Tal. You should have expected this.” 

“Wait, who is making who horny here?” The loud _thunk_ of books being deposited on hardwood echoed in Tal’s ears as Max sat down next to her, his uniform a little rumpled from the chaos of the buffet. 

“I’m seriously hoping that the answer to that question is ‘nobody,’ said Wren, sitting down in the seat next to him.

“Oh, no, Tal’s just got a cut on her cheek and Elena thinks it’s hot,” Issa said, as if that sentence clarified the situation in any way, shape or form. 

“Yeah, she was in the falafel line and some first year bitch-slapped her with their binder. Embarrassing, right?” Audrey chimed in.

“Shut up, Audrey,” Tal responded, rolling her eyes. “You’ve still got to go to Economics with me next period.”

At Tal’s mention of Econ, Audrey’s entire body seemed to deflate. “Oh god, don’t remind me. I’m already dreading having to interact with cap… capital… ugh, I can’t even say it.” 

Issa cackled, ignoring Audrey’s hate-filled glare as she did so. “Audrey, you’re the one who proposed that we make that bet in the first place.” 

“Yeah, because I didn’t think that I was going to lose.” 

Max smiled as he took a bite of his falafel wrap. “Infallible logic.” 

Stretching her hand out over the table, Tal gave Audrey’s arm a comforting pat. “It’s not as bad as it sounds, I swear. Besides, we’re getting a new teacher today, so it’s not like you’ll be sitting through Mr. Luzhin’s bullshit.”

Audrey shrugged. “I guess there’s that.”

. . .

Audrey could tell that something was off the minute she walked into the Economics classroom—and it wasn’t just because of the massive bookshelf lined with back issues of _The Economist_ or the framed portrait of Adam Smith hanging above the blackboard. There was just an… _energy_ in the air that got under her skin and made her feel like she was being watched. _Rancid vibes,_ she thinks. 

“You’ll get used to it,” Tal sighed.

“Easy for you to say. You’ve been here since last semester.” Audrey watched as Tal strolled casually up to the lectern and began to rifle through its contents. 

“Wait, what are you doing?”

“Luzhin stole my copy of _Das Kapital_ last semester. I need to see if it’s in here.”

Audrey barely stifled a groan. “Is this why you made us come to class early?” 

“ _Perfeitamente, minha amiga._ ” Tal popped up above the lectern, a red book in her hand. “Got it. Now come on, let’s get you a seat where you can copy my notes.”

Audrey sighed. At least there was nothing in the bet saying she wasn’t allowed to coast off of someone else’s work. She followed Tal to a set of desks in the back row, right next to the window, breathing a silent sigh of relief that she didn’t sit in the front. As the bell rang and students began to fill the room, she sat rigid in her seat, dreading what was to come. 

Suddenly, the smell of Drakkar Noir filled the room, and Audrey struggled not to cough as her eyes began to water.

A middle-aged man with platinum blonde hair in a style clearly intended for someone half his age, reeking of cologne, dressed in a style Audrey could only categorize as “Tumblr Sexyman” strolled casually up to the lectern, and any last shreds of hope she had that she would be able to make it through this class were scattered to the wind. 

The man smiled, showing off a set of artificially whitened teeth. “I’m Dr. Svidrigaïlov,” he said, and Audrey could _hear_ the smirk in his voice. “Welcome to Economics.”

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed!!! tal honestly does not get enough love from this fandom so i'm here to remedy that <3


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